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The
Beatles vs. Uncle Bonsai: An Honest Comparison
by Andrew Ratshin of Uncle Bonsai
(reprinted
with permission from Victory Music Review)
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OK.....so
no one's going to confuse Uncle Bonsai with The Beatles.
First of all, there were four Beatles, if you don't count
the Revolution-9-post-crash "Paul" as a separate person, and
all four of them had hair. Also, the Beatles sold over 184
million records...which is pretty good, if that sort of
thing is important to you. On the other hand, the Beatles
never sang about a guy named Doug, the state of Iowa,
someone who thinks she's corn, or -- as far as we know --
fat boys! And, more importantly, the Beatles never
reunited!
So much
for the differences. Most people don't realize, however,
just how many eerie similarities there are between the two
groups. In fact, it's so strange, that I've compiled a list.
You'll soon agree that, in many ways, it's almost impossible
to tell the groups apart..again, if you discount the
incredible effect on history that one group has had; I'm not
saying which one.
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THE
BEATLES
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UNCLE
BONSAI
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10 letters
in name
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10 letters
in name
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Grew up in
Liverpool
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Ashley
grew up in Riverside
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Eleanor
Rigby
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Eleanor -
Ashley's Daughter
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Had Album
Cover Banned1
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Had Album
Title Banned2
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Used
Barnyard animals on Sgt. Peppers
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Used
Barnyard Animal Toys in "In the Still of the
Night"
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Sang in
front of less than 100 people in a basement club
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Sang in
front of less than 100 people in a basement club
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The Fool
On The Hill
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Doug At
His Mom's
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Had a
manager die
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Had an
A&R man die
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Ringo not
real name
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Arni not
real name
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Seafood
Motif: Octopus's Garden
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Seafood
Motif: Day Old Whale
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Played at
Shea Stadium
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Andrew
passed Shea Stadium many times4
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Did songs
about body parts.3
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Did songs
about body parts.5
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Had fans
chasing and stalking them
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Had a fan
come to the early AND late shows
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Rode a bus
around with strange characters
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Drove a
motor home through the midwest and the south
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"Piggies"
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To Market,
To Market (Pigs)
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John and
Yoko's "Two Virgins" released with plain brown
wrapper
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Released a
CD called "Plain Brown Wrapper"
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Revolution
5: A longer version of Revolution 1
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Sponge
Boy: A 14-minute version of a 3 minute song
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Paul
McCartney: left handed vegetarian
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Ashley
O'Keeffe: left-handed, likes vegetables
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Released
many compilations after the group broke up
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The
Inessential Uncle Bonsai, 1991
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QUICK
FACTS: BOTH GROUPS
Played at
the Seattle Center!
Disbanded while at the top...well, near the top! (OK..Uncle
Bonsai were almost on the top floor of the hotel.)
Were succeeded by Southern Democrats named Johnson! Oh
wait...that was Lincoln and Kennedy.
Both groups use a guitar, although one just
strums.
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- FOOTNOTES:
- 1-Butcher
Cover of Yesterday and Today
- 2-The
title, Boys Want Sex in the Morning, wasn't
announced on Seattle radio
- 3-I
Want To Hold Your Hand
- 4-Andrew
grew up in Forest Hills...where the Beatles
played!
- 5-Penis
Envy
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So, there
you have it. I could go on an on but I think you get the
idea. If you disregard the fact that Uncle Bonsai is a
Seattle-based trio, featuring two women and myself, doing
original songs, singing three-part harmonies, backed by a
single acoustic guitar, and still together after all these
years -- and that The Beatles were four British guys -- the
similarities between these two groups is staggering. In
fact, if you were a fan of The Beatles, and there's a
shameless plug coming up after the next comma, you might as
well come see Uncle Bonsai's Reunion 2004 Concert at The
First Baptist Church in Tacoma on November 19th...of the one
in Kirkland on November 20th. We won't be doing any of their
songs but we'll probably be done by 10:00.
- Andrew
Ratshin
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